It’s the New Year! Dust Off Your Dreams!

by CrisMarie on December 20, 2013

It’s the New Year! Dust Off Your Dreams! Reprinted from 406 Magazine Dec/Jan 2014 pg 76

During our coaching session, Cassie, a struggling life coach herself, lamented, “I hate that I keep doing other peoples’ programs for my work. I get certified in this, endorsed in that. Hell, I am over 50! I am a smart, intelligent woman with something to offer. I want to do my own work, have my own voice!”406-woman-cover-december-20

Something inside of Cassie was bursting to come out, yet she didn’t know how to move it forward. Many of us get stuck here, give up on our dreams and resign ourselves to our status quo. Yes, we all have made choices that may limit us, but I think we tend to box ourselves in unnecessarily.

Eugene Gendlin, the author of the book, Focusing, says that we are all Living Forward Organisms, meaning we can’t help but want the next right step, a bit like a plant that naturally turns towards the sun. However, because bad things happen to good people, we often bury our wants under layers of disappointment, hurt, and failed attempts. We keep our wants at an arm’s distance, dulling them through addictions, focusing on others or even developing health issues such as depression.

Wake Up Your Wanting

As we head to the New Year, I want to encourage you to wake up your wanting and dust off those dreams! You might be surprised. It is never too late, really.

I hate to admit it, but growing up my dream was to be Ginger on the TV show Gilligan’s Island. I wanted to be the sexy Hollywood movie star (of course, not stranded on a dessert island, mind you).

Instead, my dad said, “Go be an engineer. You’ll get a good job.” So I did. It wasn’t until my mid thirties that I let myself even take an acting class. It wasn’t until my early 40’s that actually tried out for a role in a theater production. After one show I was hooked. Since then, I have been in five different productions. No, I am certainly no Ginger, but I have played a sexy female cop!

So how do you wake up your wanting and bring it front and center to create more of what you want in your life?

How To Dust Off Your Dreams

1. AREA: Identify one area where you want something different in your life. This could be an area that you are extremely unhappy with or perhaps you just want something more. Trouble deciding? Listen to your heart.

2. WHY: Ask yourself, “Why is this area so important to me?”

FYI, your desire is not silly, frivolous or stupid. There is a good reason this matters to you so much. It may be related to an abandoned dream or a core value (creativity, emotional intimacy, personal expression, etc.) that has been dormant.

This question helps you get to the essence or nugget of what is driving you. It’s the juice or internal motivation that connects you to that living forward energy. Use your body as a compass. Notice what you feel and where you feel it in your body.

This can be done journaling over a series of days or in conversation with a friend or coach.

3. OUTCOME: Describe your Ideal Scene. This means that if it could be just the way you envision, what would it look, feel, and sound like? Who would be around you? What would you be doing? How would you feel in your body?

One of my favorite ways to do this is to jump into the future (three or six months or a year), and write a script of your ideal scene, as if it were happening in the present moment. Try it and see how you feel in your body. Be aware that if your ideal scene is too unrealistic, something in you will resist. So see if you can make it expansive, fun, but also believable.

4. STEPS: What are the natural, easiest next baby steps to move you forward on this path? This is where people can get overwhelmed. I did not decide to quit my job and move to Hollywood, although I have friends who have tried that. I just showed up for an audition: easy-peasy.

Bonus: Notice what you are already doing in this direction.

Cassie’s Dusted Off Dream

WHAT: Cassie she realized she wanted to focus on her writing.

WHY: When I asked her why this was so important to her she responded, “Writing is a way for me to coalesce my life experiences, learning and what I have to offer to others in a way that people understand and connect to me. It is a way to put my voice out there in order to attract possible clients.”

I asked what she felt in her body, she stopped, looked up and said, “I feel located inside of me,” her hands were around her belly. “I feel solid and good!”

OUTCOME: Here is a snippet of her ideal scene: I am just publishing my new book and heading out on my book tour. I have great support from my publisher, my friends and even my mentors, who have written quotes for the jacket cover. My mentors are promoting my book through their networks. I have even gotten some coaching clients. I feel so blessed!

STEPS: When I asked her what steps she could take and what she was already doing she replied, “I am already writing my blog and articles. What feels good for me now is reviving my writing group so that we can support each other. Plus, there is a writing workshop I want to sign up for.”

In our last session, Cassie let me know that while it wasn’t all easy, she felt engaged and alive! I can’t wait until that book comes out!

 

 

 

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